countessk8

look at the rock’s reaction to accidentally getting his titty touched

bemusedlybespectacled:

nonlinear-nonsubjective:

sonneillonv:

castiel-for-king:

maliwanhellfires:

just-shower-thoughts:

Mammals both produce milk and have hair. Ergo, a coconut is a mammal.

I know you’re being facetious, but this is an actual issue with morphology-based phylogeny.

*leans over and whispers to person beside me* what are they talking about

*leans over and whispers back* Human ability to quantify and categorize natural phenomena is sketchy at best and wildly misleading at worst

consider the coconut

this reminds me of that time Plato defined humans as “featherless bipeds” and Diogenes ran in with a plucked chicken screaming “BEHOLD A MAN!”

i love how you say “it reminds me of that time” like you were there.

papatulus:

bob-from-finance:

papatulus:

when you see someone making ‘triggered’ or ‘attack helicopter’ jokes in 2016

are you making fun of my attack helicopter gender? i’m honestly triggered. check your privilege, shitlord

here buddy, you might need this

http://www.wikihow.com/Develop-a-Sense-of-Humor

sassyirony:

It’s Me I’m all of them

mcdyke:

women don’t exist to take care of men

cstia:

me going outside and trying to contribute to society after watching 20 conspiracy videos in a row:

mysharona1987:

Hilarious book dedications.

dx7:

phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess:

phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess:

fitmaree:

Can’t risk it

This is the Cassowary of Creativity

It just kicked the everloving shit out of the duck for threatening you, and wishes you a good, creative day.
You are Safe Now.

you have been visited by

Dewey