One of my clearest high school memories is of the time I asked my freshman bio teacher what he wanted to be when he grew up and he said “assassinated”

The time has come.

Prizes:

• A chocolate bar
• A “nice” pair of socks (human)
• Jar of something interesting to gaze upon
• Teeth
• [UNIDENTIFIED]
• An important date and time

Enter by reblogging. Once you do there are no take backs. It all will end on July first.

captainsnoop:

sometimes i feel like a real snob for turning my nose up at “entry level” geek stuff but at the same time, fuck your “deadpool walking out of the tardis holding the master sword” shirt

Tea Time

astro-glow:

soulofsaturn:

Drink up, it’s scalding hot.

Aries: you have impulse control/rage issues and sometimes u get so mad u end up crying and looking weak as fuck it’s fucking embarrassing,, also, you act tough and tell yourself you don’t care what people think, but you need other people more than they’ll ever need you.

Taurus: look, it’s not that you’re lazy, it’s that you don’t give a fuck and you can’t even if you’ve tried, boy did you try, your apathy will destroy your life. Look at you, wasting away because nothing matters until it’s too late.

Gemini: discretion? what’s that? Take a good look around- you talk, they nod, but no one’s listening. you might as well be invisible and mute. no one sees you, no one hears you, you’re just a fly buzzing in everyone’s ears.

Cancer: you’re really fucking desperate for people to care and tell you you’re a good person, your neediness drives people away and makes your worst fear come true, and it’s all your fault. Yes, you are a victim… of ur own stupidity.

Leo: you’re not special

Virgo: tbh u drag urself worse than I ever could and you know what? ur right. u do succ @ All The Things™ and you will never be good enough

Libra: you have codependency issues and are totally obsessed with getting people to like you regardless of how you feel about them. You settle and settle and settle and just when you think you can’t go any lower, boy, you find a way.

Scorpio: Paranoid… Insecure… Crazy, you’re crazy, only crazy people see things no one else sees, you hide because you know no one can love you once they get to know you

Sagittarius: I see ur abandonment issues. I see them from all the way over here. You try to keep your distance and leave before you bore them. You know you’ll always end up boring them, and you’re right.

Capricorn: “I don’t need them. They need me.” Bruh, you got it backwards.

Aquarius: you’re boring

Pisces: Stop acting weak and emotional to get people to take care of you and give a fuck, we all know you’re actually selfish and dead inside

dragged through the pits of hell god damn

gingerofthenight:

mathdegree-striptease:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

aluox:

There’s probably more but these are the ones I can think of at the moment! Please be considerate and don’t play pranks at other people’s expenses!

Have fun everyone!

DON’T BE A BUTT

good pranks:

vaseline on doorknob lol

rickrolling

food that looks like other food

telling your partner the cat threw up in their fav shoes haha no she didn’t it’s fine but your face was so good

dont fake being pregnant ether pls

roadhonk:

reverendharlemheat:

roadhonk:

prediction: none of the Disney live action remakes are gonna be good, most of them will be aggravating in some way, they won’t be visually stunning enough to be memorable beyond the initial hype, and I’m going to be forced to see four dozen over saturated gifsets of each one anyway

didn’t they already do one for cinderella? i feel like we forgot that one immediately

fucked if I know. they could’ve already redone their entire visual library and my only clue would be the tingling sensation in the back of my head that someone somewhere is doing something to annoy me

kallistoi:

shezgay:

*hitting the ceiling with a broom and screaming at aphrodite* where is my gf!! where is she!! the love of my life!! where!!

which sappho poem is this

berlin1991:

pls kill all men who yell at girls from cars