countessk8

tuhmblr-logic:

auncyen:

missjonesie99:

videohall:

News Anchor in my area loses it over a Fat Cat that likes to swim.

I don’t know what’s funnier, how she said physical activities or the snort.

I love how she gradually loses it. She gives it her best try and then you can just hear where her composure starts breaking down.

i always lose it when her voice trips into the fifth dimension as she says physical activities

pisslick:

just-shower-thoughts:

Unless life also hands you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

Sometimes life doesn’t hand you things, sometimes you have to go to your local Walmart Your gothdamn self

leaflicker:

I Died In 2010 and Was Replaced By Someone With Absolutely No Motivation and Complete Emotional Unavailability, a conspiracy thread

speedlimit15:

me: im gonna go to bed early and get a good nights sleep
netflix: here’s a bunch of 45 minute documentaries on the wildlife inhabiting coastal islands
me: hhhdbhnnnnnnnnnnddndkkj coconut crab

prokopetz:

Little-known downsides of immortality:

Tearing your favourite article of clothing and discovering that it’s
irreplaceable because the technique of its manufacture has been lost

Realising you’ve thought of the perfect comeback to someone who’s been dead for three hundred years

Not being able to eat your favourite dish anymore because the source of some critical ingredient has gone extinct

Having strong opinions about sports that are no longer played

Getting a song from the 13th Century stuck in your head and being unable to get it out because you don’t remember how it ends and you’re the only person on Earth who knows it

Having that perfect pun you’ve been waiting forever for a chance to use stop working due to linguistic drift

laurelhach:

using microsoft word

*moves an image a mm to the left*

all text and images shift. four new pages appear. paragraph breaks form a union. a swarm of commas buzzes at the window. in the distance, sirens.